Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Body Combat 59

Review of Les Mills Body Combat release 59

Today we rocked the new release in Body Combat class.  very fun.  very challenging.  very exhausting.
So exhausting, I am doing the lazy blogger thing of just copy-pasting the url for someone else's blog, seemingly a body combat instructor, who does a much better job at breaking down the tracks in this new release and describing them in much better technical detail than i could do.  Here it is:


Review of Les Mills Body Combat release 59

My favorite moves? Probably the sword swings, the jump kicks, and the hip escapes.  So much fun.

Review of Les Mills Body Combat release 59

Time to rest the bod. I would've spent more time sharing snarky comments about the guido-mafia-man in class, or the chick who was afraid to come to this class after knocking out her roommate in a similar kickboxing class years ago.... but even my fingers are tired.

hope you enjoyed the link!

Monday, April 21, 2014

the return to a dream

Sometimes I read things by other authors that I just have to share.  This is one of those times.  Check it out...

Quote from The Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkinson:

 "'A long time ago, I woke up to a Dream, too,'( Ordinary's) Father said.  'And it came with a long white feather.  It was a wonderful Dream.  I kept my feather on my windowsill while I waited for a chance to pursue it.  I waited and waited.  But it never seemed possible... One day I noticed the feather had to turned to dust.'
Of all the sad words Ordinary had ever heard, these were the saddest."

quote from Happily Ever AFter by Kristin Armstrong:

"We have our own foolish measures of protection against disappointment.  We think if we don't react or get too excited about great possibilities, the letdown won't be as hard if things don't work out.  The result is the limitation of our own joy and the reduction of our trust in God.

When we are constant in prayer and get to a deeper place of trust, we know that even if the rug is pulled out from under us, the Lord will grab us just before we fall on our faces.  He will keep us steadfast if we stumble or suffer.  This knowledge adds bravery to our hopefulness.  We begin to try where we would normally hesitate.  We begin to celebrate God's goodness and praise His works without knowing how it all will come together.

Have enough faith to give joy a chance.  Celebrate the possibility."

I love these passages.  In a time where I've felt my dreams were gone forever, I am beginning to feel a tiny spark of renewed hope inside me, like maybe, just maybe, I have the courage to go after my dream after all.  I don't believe God gives us big dreams just for us to set them on a windowsill, to save them for "someday", which inevitably may never come.  Sure, I may fail at them a million times, but I gotta have the courage to go for it anyway.  What do I have to lose?  God has my back.  Like the biblical Joseph who enraged his older siblings by telling them his dreams, I have also suffered my share of teasing and words of discouragement when I would talk about my dreams as a kid.  So I tried to just blend in with my peers, do what brought others success, but guess what?  I was not made like everybody else!  None of us is!  We are each unique, amazing creatures of God, and He gives us a reason for our dreams and passions!!!  No, we can't all be rock stars and headliners in everything we do, but there is something in each of us, a dream, an idea that warms our heart and gives us more than just an adrenalin rush.. it's that peaceful joy of finding our purpose, our flow, our natural rhythm, our original color.  That reason to get up every morning and go carve out an incredible sculpture from the ordinary sands of your hourglass.

ok, enough fluff and rainbows.  I might get too excited, and then the letdown would be too harsh to take. just kidding.  I know the Dream Giver.  He not only has my back, He has my heart.  Thank you, Jesus.

a whole heart

 As I journey along this road to emotional healing and living an authentic life from an honest heart, I did a little search for Bible verses on whole-heartedness. Here are some of my results.

With my whole heart have I sought you: O let me not wander from your commandments.
Psalm 119:10

O the happiness of those keeping His testimonies, With the whole heart they seek Him.
Psalm 119:2

"No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.
Matthew 6:24

He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
Psalm 23:3

Dear Lord, 

You search me and know me, even to my inmost parts.  You know where I have lived dishonestly, and where this sin of dishonesty has hurt others and myself.  As I tunnel through this process of exposing the lies and coming clean in all areas of my life, lead me on with the light of your grace, the hope of your forgiveness and restoration that keeps me from stumbling, falling back, and even wanting to take my own life for the grief i feel for my sin, the grief I feel for the pain I have caused others.  Heal the wounds, O Lord, as I walk this road with You.  May we all be Overcomers in the name of Jesus, who overcame death on the cross and reigns victoriously over the grave, over the power of sin, death and the devil.  May I be an agent in this healing, that I may not cause unnecessary pain, but where the exposure of truth causes hurt, may Your love rush in and promote healing.  Use me as a vessel, somehow, Lord, to encourage others, to use the gifts You have given me to be used in faith, to somehow be a part of this miracle of healing that You are already working on, even when I cannot see it.  May I remain steadfast in faith, patient in persevering, joyful in hope, as I know that You have come to bring life and to bring it abundantly. Process, progress, product.  No matter how long this takes, Lord.  May the peace of Your presence, and the power of Your Spirit as I feel it in worship, keep me planted on Your paths, my eyes fixed on You only, O God.
My spirit is willing yet my flesh is so weak.  Help me, O God.  I am yours.

in Jesus' Name,



Wednesday, April 9, 2014


i would be denying reality
to think that there's anything to be happy about in my life.
life hurts
then you die.


i've always thought it would be great fun to be the mascot for a school athletic team.  You know, that funny person who dresses all up in a head-to-toe costume of some animal or whatever creature represents their team.  Dressed all up in that furry get-up, nobody has a clue who I am, I could do anything: dance to the pep band, jump around with the cheerleaders, act incredibly stupid, run up and greet little kids, trying not to scare them, embarrass some dignified people who look like they need to loosen up a bit...just have a ball!  I could do that!  As long as I don't have to speak, and nobody knows who I am, there's almost no limit to the crazy things I could do.  Yes, even introverts can feel comfortable performing and being the center of attention, in the right situation.  It's all about the costume.  The mask.  With that identity theft going on, I can do anything, as long as it's not illegal, harmful or immoral.  

Unfortunately it doesn't work that way in real life.  The mask.   You can wear a mask for a pretty long time, really, and get what you want , or what you think you want, by being a master of disguise.  Keep your heart locked away.  Yes, keep it hidden, don't let it get involved.  Because if the heart is fully engaged, boy, you have just set yourself up for incredible hurt, heartbreak and trouble.   So you wear the mask, the costume, keep the heart safe and hidden, and get by.   But at some point,  it happens:  Someone has the nerve (how dare they!!!?)  to rip off the mask.  Expose you for who you really are.  And everything you thought you gained by wearing that mask, is suddenly gone.  Or at least 50%.

And that's as far as the story goes.  so far.  I don't know what happens next.  With a mask on, I can make things up as I go along, for it's all just fiction.  But without the mask, it's real life.  And anything could happen.  that's scary.  that's stagefright.  real mascots don't have to deal with that kind of thing.
must be nice.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Baby snake

Saw this cute little snake,
 baby snake, 
right outside the back door as i stepped out for a run.  
Cute little thang.  
happy spring, baby snake!

Now usually I'd be a bit nervous to see this sort of thing, 
little snaky,
so suddenly,
almost stepped on her.

Usually I think of bad connotations with snakes.  Like how having a dream about snakes is supposed to mean something in your life, like the snake is representing some sort of evil or thing that you fear in your daytime life.  your "real" life. I've had dreams like that while going through hard times. snake dreams.

But somehow I"m feeling rather fond of this baby snake, feeling a kindred spirit with her.  
Like, here she is, just a few days old, perhaps, 
just a sweet, innocent snake,
and already the world is accusing her of being evil and worthy to be killed.
judging her.
when she's just doing what comes naturally....

....flicking her tongue out to sense her prey...
or her predator. 
doing what her Creator has intended for her.

Nice little snaky.
But tell me one thing.
Is your mama close by?
If so, please tell her to stay out of our house...
she might not be welcomed by the big scary humans.

sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss-see ya!!!


i feel the most content

when i am the most unsure
when i have absolutely no idea what i'm doing

where i am going
why i'm doing it

i feel the most quietness of soul
the madness is loudest


i feel the greatest peace
when i'm standing on the edge of a cliff
taking one step at a time

stepping out into nothingness
each foot landing on a cloud
that miraculously appears
out of nowhere
as i step through the dark stratosphere

i don't get it Lord
nothing makes sense

but i'm so glad
so thankful
that you do.

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior"

                 ---from "Oceans" by Hillsong United

"Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path."
Psalm 119:105

"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it.' ".
Isaiah 30:21

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

combat without warfare

weirdest thing ever. weird. weird. weird.  body combat class,. same intensity, same loud rockin music, same bad moves,  same yelling from the instructor, egging us on to get meaner, madder, fiercer, badder...but i'm not feeling it.  still loving the class, the exercise, the moves, the music, the technique, the fight...but the demons are gone. it's just me, fighting the air.  muscles are relaxed, controlled.  it's a spiritual thing.  i swear. i'm not a swearing kind of girl, but i swear there's something spiritual that goes on when movement & music come together with such  intensity, like in this class.  but when there's no spiritual battle going on in my head, and i'm free as a bird, floating on air...then i just breathe normally and punch the living daylights out of...nothing. hmm. so i focus on my technique.  watch my form in the mirror, making sure my jab-cross-side-snap-kick is clearly defined, so there's no dead leg on the kick, just a clean in-and-out jab to the side, slice the air with my kick, even if there's nobody there.  feeling so light today, i might as well be the sugar plum princess in the nutcracker ballet. la-dee-daaa...  soooo...does that mean i should trade in my gloves for my toe shoes, tights and tutu??? 
i think not. 
this is still too much fun.


The Spirit of the Lord is upon me because he has anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he has sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those that are broken,   Luke 4:18


3I was with you in weakness and in fear and in much trembling, 4and my message and my preaching were not in persuasive words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, 5so that your faith would not rest on the wisdom of men, but on the power of God.     1 Corinthians 2:4

Saturday, March 29, 2014


sometimes our battles
are won in the spiritual
long before
they are manifested in the physical.