Just finished this book today. I love a good suspense novel, the kind that keeps me up late at night, unable to put it down. The kind I devour in just a couple days, even on busy days when there's not much time to read. I trade my precious sleep just to read a few more pages. Then it's all over and I'm stuck without another exciting read until I get back to the library. I can easily check out e-books online, but it's not the same as holding a real paper and ink book on my lap, the old-fashioned way. I'm old-fashioned, I guess.
One thing I never do, though I could, is read the last page before I finish the book. It's just wrong. But I love how this one ends, because of this one statement that sums up the protagonist's key to her success. It's in the middle paragraph shown in the photo below.
The paragraph reads: "I ask myself how can a woman like me have such aspirations? No background, no money, but now I have a sense of myself I never had before."
That "sense of myself" is what gave her confidence to face her future after an extremely traumatic series of events. To put it in a nutshell, she was an ordinary girl who was lured into the web of a sadistic billionaire who charmed her and then had her assitant push her off a yacht to kill her. Unfortunately for her killer, she survived. But she was returned to the killer, and tortured, imprisoned, his main goal to break her spirit, which he never did, even through the worst experiences imaginable. She eventually made her escape, summoning all the courage she had, using her wits, and believing in herself again.
That's the kind of novel I love reading. People who start out as the underdog, are easily tricked into bad situations, but then recover themselves and end up sealing the victory as they gain their own sense of self.
That's something I'm doing in my own life. So maybe...just maybe...I should use some of my experiences to write my own novel.
Hmmm, what would I write about? Not my whole life story, of course. Different parts for different books.
Let's just say I chose the time frame of these past few years, with a light brushing of my past just for some background understanding. Of course, the names would be changed to protect people's real identities, and I might fabricate a few things, too, of course. Never said this was a biography or memoir, just fiction based on facts. So here goes, just a brief synopsis:
3 main characters: Wanda, Jack, and Jill. Wanda is a middle-aged woman.
She had some difficult events in her past, left her a bit unsure of herself and leading a protected life to conceal who she really was and to avoid having to face any stressful challenges all by herself. She thought she had it all worked out, her fake persona, and it wasn't too hard to pretend she was happy, as she was well taken care of.
But then she was spotted by someone who sensed her lack of confidence, saw her as an easy prey. His name was Jack. They immediately felt an attraction for each other, but kept it hidden. Eye contact was all, at first, until Wanda became active online, and found that Jack was subtly flirting with her through his social media accounts. For example, she would post something on one of her accounts or her blog, and he would immediately follow it up with some vague response, or "sub-tweet" on his own account. It was subtle, and practically impossible to detect as the years went on and the need for secrecy increased, but they both knew it was there and couldn't deny the connection they felt, though they kept it secret. Why the secret? Because Wanda was married and Jack was in a serious relationship with a girl (Jill) whom he fully intended to marry. Jill knew nothing of Jack's strange attraction to an older woman, a fascination with this game of reading her blog and leading Wanda to think, at first, anyway, that he was truly interested in her.
Then one day she had enough. She decided it was terribly wrong and had to clear things up. She felt pity for Jill, hanging onto this guy who was playing around behind her back. Wanda knew she was taking a big chance with someone she didn't even know, had never spoken to, but she decided to reach out to Jill and tell her what was going on.
First she did her homework. She found old screenshots and archived messages and tweets that showed the many, many "mere coincidental" posts that lined up with each other in meaning and in similar times posted.
Wanda also found examples of another person, someone in authority, sort of a spiritual guide known to all our characters, who also seemed to be reading Wanda's blog. She decided to let him in on the secret, too. After all, she kind of thought he had started to catch on after awhile, anyway. Thank God, Wanda had thought, especially after Jack had blatantly turned Wanda in to this guide for some truly inappropriate messaging she had done, but what was so shocking, to Wanda, about this was how he pretended he didn't even know her!!! And of course, he wass believed to be the innocent one, as he had that squeaky clean image, some years' history with the leader and their clan. And Wanda? This middle-aged woman was easy to blame, for no one knew her from Rahab. Easily pegged as your typical Bored Housewife/Cougar type.
Years later, the evil of this act was still remembered, the bitterness simmering in Wanda's mind, and it cast an unwashable stain on Jack's character. Lies. If he was so good at lying to keep up his good image in front of his peers and spiritual authorities, what kind of husband was he going to be for Jill?
The thoughts stirred in Wanda's mind, as they had bothered her for years. But it was only when she'd had a few years of counseling and had reached a point of claiming that sense of self for good, that she acted upon them.
Wanda made contact with Jill. Jill was hesitant, but agreed to meet Wanda. Wanda shared the many many bits of evidence she had against Jack, to prove that he truly was up to some bad behavior behind Jill's back. Wanda encouraged Jill to approach Jack, with a heart full of grace, and ask him about the incidents. Wanda would leave it up to them and did not need to hear back from them. She'd had enough and let the two of them figure it out themselves and decide where to go relationally.
And Wanda left the scene, washing her hands of the crime she had finally uncovered and repented.
The story does not tell what happened with Jack and Jill, but Wanda moves on, her head held high and her heart free from the chains of dishonesty and misplaced affections. Wanda goes on to live a solitary, but very contented life, finally living out the renewed confidence that had once been destroyed by events of her past. Perhaps she dates a little, and perhaps she even falls in love. But the man is someone who has also been perfectly content to live in singleness. He doesn't feel the need to always be in a relationship. He knows that he is enough. He is also too buoyed up on his own passions and dreams in life, to even have time during this particular season in life. He seeks to be content with his own sense of self, before slowly pursuing a genuine relationship, one with no secrecy, no games.
Wanda and this mystery man meet, they realize their shared passions and dreams, and live happily ever after.
Yeah, that's the book I might write one day.
And I'm sure that the day it's published, there will be immediate posts of overflowing affection to a certain person's "bae" all over the internet, as a counter-defense. For that's the way cheaters work. It's a pattern: They scheme, go astray and cheat, then fly back to their unsuspecting "significant other" with a huge pretense of adoration and so-called commitment. Scheme, Cheat, and Kiss Up. I've seen it too many times.
Yes, life is stranger than fiction. And I've only just begun.
