HOOOAHHHH!!!!!

Dear Mr. Body Combat Instructor, 

I accept my defeat.  I will come back later to work on this blog, for I am about to die from your class today.  Too many kicks and jabs.   I am now going to collapse.  later..... (to be continued....stay tuned folks...)

ok, I'm back. 2 hours later.  Had to take a looooong nap to recover from that murderous class. Really tough today, or I'm just really weak!

So a quick synopsis of the mayhem..  I walk into class, and there's Mr. Combat, strolling around the room, greeting newbies and sporting the usual pirates' scarf, Everlast gloves and a huge honkin' super-grande cup of Starbucks something!  MMMmmm, so that's where he gets all that energy!  Guess I"ll need to try that next time.
He gives some first-time advice to a couple nervous-looking newbies.
"You'll love it.  It's the modern cure for road rage."

He's giving advice on the proper height of snap kicks.

"Kick only as high as you can control it.  If you kick me in the gut, that would suck.  Kick me in the front of the knee so my knee goes backward, it shatters. That would suck even more."

Good advice. I'll remember that.

"Ok, you Mad Cary Moms, let's go!!!!"  yes, we are mostly a group of mad moms in here, except for this dude next to me who chose to wear the very same shade of lime green that I did, the copycat.  NO, we did not plan this!!  He's got his upper cuts all wrong, too, keeps doing hooks instead, get a life.

anyway, so the usual, hooks, jabs, uppercuts, roundhouse kicks, snap kicks, pirate sword thrusts, and then this new move I'll call the "lawn mower" move, for lack of memory as to its real term.  Mr. Rob is explaining:

"Hold your opponent's head down by your knee, turn his face up, then BAM!  BAM! BAM!  Just like starting a power cord lawn mower, only bloodier!!!!"

oooh, Mr. Combat, isn't that a bit cruel? nah, this is fun, BAM!

We do some muay thai moves today, some cool blocks and guards. 

He refers to his "partner" several times, I think he's making sure he doesn't get hit on by any of us mad moms.   oh please...

So then come the murderous shoulder swings, yes, I'll be feeling these... then it's

"One hundred and twenty consecutive jabs!  GO!!!  Chin down, shoulders forward,
look at your opponent, get the face!!! (ooh yeah, I will!!! whack! whack! whack! lovin this, baby!!!!!)

"10,9,8,7, GO MAD CARY MOMS, FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!  5,4,3,2, HOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

We get our mats, time for push-ups. "I'd rather see proper form and on your knees than crap form on your toes."  ok, I get it. I"ll do girlie push-ups today.  Don't wanna get pounded for my crap form.
Sit-ups, stretches, cute little Asian-like bow to the instructor... we're done. 

Great class. I'll be back next week. If I've recovered.

Steam room haiku

Burning sweat bullets
Hot foggy blindness almost
Intolerable

sleep blues

 

  If I could sleep

  nights would  be easy

  There'd be no moonlight

  that I'd be scared of

    But I can't sleep

    not like I should

    I cannot dream

    these thoughts are too hard

    And every night

    I hear the house creaking

    No one hears, they're all sleeping.

  If I could sleep,

  I'd snore really loud

  I'd stick one leg out

  and mumble such dumb things

  I'd drool on my pillow

  and wake up with bed head

  and all would be right

   But I can't sleep

   not like I need it

   I just can't dream

   good as I have it

   And when I lie here,

    hear the clock ticking

    see the time passing,

    making me tired.

 Cause if I slept 

  I'd have more good mornings

  my coffee much sweeter

  the sunlight much warmer

    But I can't sleep

    not like I should

    I just can't dream

    oh that I would

    but no, that's for others

 http://www.wylio.com/credits/Flickr/2109916128

just thoughts on drowning

  My Near-Drowning Experience
My brother has always been a crazy daredevil.  From hopping railroad cars for a fun ride down the tracks, creating fire balls from a match and an aerosol can and then being rushed to the emergency room, setting up a firecracker "surprise" in his high school locker the last day of school, to motorcycle accidents, diving off bridges, scuba diving for sunken ship wreckage and more,his insatiable quest for adventure always seemed to lack a bit of common sense and a basic respect for survival. Nonetheless, he also possessed great skills of persuasion, which he used to enthusiastically encourage me, his younger sister, to accompany him on some of these quests.One of them involved his long-time passion for river kayaking.  It was springtime in Wisconsin, after heavy rains had created flood stage conditions on the rivers. I was back home for a short visit on my ministry furlough from the teaching job I had in the Dominican Republic.  Having just spent 2 years in a very challenging ministry environment, living in a 3rd world culture, learning to speak Spanish by trial and error, and battling monstrous spiders and cockroaches on a daily basis, I felt I was ready for anything. Physically, I had just completed a mountain climbing trip up the highest peak in the Carribean, plus I'd been a wilderness trip leader/whitewater canoe instructor for the summer before all that, so kayaking? a piece of cake, right?  Well, it would've been, except for one thing: my extreme fear of that tight-fitting "skirt" thing that completely traps a person inside the kayak.  oh sure, suppposedly one can yank themselves out of it if they capsize, but since Eskimo rolls are the usual procedure for kayakers, no "real" kayakers really worry about that issue.  Ok, so Big Bro assures me I'll be fine, he'll give me a quick kayak lesson in the beginning and then we'll be off.  Our parents drive us down to the river, at a place just below the dam, where the already overflowing river is at its highest, wildest condition.  We put on our protective gear, carry the kayaks down the river bank and carefully get in.  I'll never forget the look on my mom's face as we started out that day, and later she told me she didn't know if she was ever going to see me again.  So anyway we find a fairly calm spot on the side of the river and he teaches me the basics of kayaking, in a quick 5-minute lesson, minus any instruction on eskimo rolls, assuming I would just be able to tear myself out of that dreaded "skirt" thing should anything bad happen. uh, note to self here, never assume.  Basics covered, Dean is confident his very capable student is now ready to hit the white water below the dam and try out some fancy tricks.  ri-i-i-i-ight!?

First up, the break-away. You paddle upstream really really hard, straight into the current and the underside of the coming waves.  Then veer suddenly to the right, and lean, (which is it, upstream or downstream???) so that the wave then spins you back around and you go shooting down the rapids.  Looks like fun, and so easy when HE does it.  So caught up in the momentum and the adrenalin, I charge upstream with all I've got, veer to the right, then look back at my brother to ask, "which way do I lean again, upstream or downstream???"  Apparently I got the direction wrong, because OOOF!! Splash!! Over I went, hanging upside down as my kayak took me down the river in a mightly rush of whitewater currents.  Totally taken off guard and having had no time to even hold my breath, I am hanging there underwater, gulping down mouthful after mouthful of that mighty river, until my deflated lungs are crying out to be filled, as well.  It was probably only a matter of seconds that I was going through this, but it felt like an eternity.  Mentally all I remember thinking about was angels and Jesus.  Not even how I was going to right myself up again or tear myself out of that evil kayak skirt.  I was beyond that, already assuming this was it.  If those angels didn't pull me out at this instant, I would soon be face to face with my precious Jesus, and I was ok with that.  I've always had nightmares about this kind of experience, being trapped and drowning, and thought iit would be the very worst way to die.  I love the movie The Abyss, but there's a scene I can barely watch anymore.  When the guy and girl are stuck in this other underwater sub station that's quickly filling up with water and they only have enough air in a tank to get one of them back to their "home" sub station, the girl decides that she will let herself drown, then the guy will carry her unconscious body back as he swims to the sub station, hoping to then revive her with mouth-to-mouth resucitation when they arrive.  Of course it works out and there's a happy ending, but the terror and panic on her face as the water is rising and she's acknowledging what is about to happen to her, oh it's just too much to watch!  Soooo here I am hanging upside down from the kayak in the river, having similar thoughts.  I've since then heard that the experience of drowning, once you get past the panic, can be described as ecstatic, like being in a wonderful drug-like state.  Maybe I was getting close to that, since I don't recall a lot of panic, just thoughts of heaven and what it was going to be like.  I really don't know.  All i remember that happened next is somehow my head is above water, my thrashing about (or so I suppose, though I secretly think it was the angels) having finally yanked me out of the skirt, and my brother is holding the kayak and saying, "you're ok, you're ok".  I think he was actually pretty freaked out himself by the experience, though he wouldn't admit it.  We went over to the side where I coughed the river back up, before getting back in the boats and paddling our way back down to where our parents waited with the car, some 5 miles downstream.  It wasn't easy getting back out there on the water, and you can bet I tried my hardest not to tip over and did not try any more tricks!  But I'm glad I was forced to try again, so I wouldn't be forever frozen in fear of any type of water sports, which I adore.  Guess when I die I"ll become sort of a mermaid angel, flying around underwater.  :)

message in a bottle

  

     Took a walk down to the river.

    A bottle in one hand, a note in the other.

    A Bible verse in my head: Matthew 29:32

    "Jesus stopped and called them. (two blind men)

     'What do you want me to do for you?' he asked."

     This question, burning in my heart.

    Jesus, you know me. you created me. of course you know what I want.

     Yet you still want me to speak the words?

      You really want to know what I want, what I really really want?

      ok, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want.

     Reaching the muddy river bank, I kneel down and read my note.

     Scrawled in fresh ink, like blood. I read it aloud

     Against the roar of the rushing waters.

     I look around, making sure no one heard me.

     Nature is good.  Even the birds aren't tweeting this one.

     I stuff the note into the bottle.  Throw the bottle into the wild white froth.

     Watch it bob in the foaming rapids, 

     then catch the current and start floating away.

      My eyes rest on a whirlpool, spinning beside a large rock

     As I stare into the dark swirling waters, 

      I think I see...is it, a hand...reaching up...no! it can't be...

      a ghostly white hand reaching up as if to grab me

      to pull me down, down, down

      to the bottom of the river

       No!!  I laugh it off, some kind of imagination...

       I look back down the river.  

       Can barely see the bottle now, rolling and careening around rocks

       as it travels to its destination.

      I quickly turn and begin climbing back up the river bank.

       Job complete.  Jesus will find my note.

        As the sound of the water subsides 

        the whirlpool

        stops spinning.

    

Wait for it...

Thoughts bubbling up
Think i'm going to explode
Fingers twitching, gotta type
Need some alone time.

Chocolate meanderings

Baking brownies while
Thinking of my next blog post
Puttering aimlessly

Sleepy haiku

One thing better than
Sunday afternoon nap is
Nap during the rain

Car jams

Here's the kids and i getting crazy to music in the car.
Hope this photo collage works...

Created by PhotoGrid.

Carpool mindstream

So here i sit in the carpool line. Behind a zillion cars.  Radio tunes streaming through my head. Some Good.  some bad.   Can't believe these moms do this every day, i am just thankful for school buses. Today is an ex eption.whate er.ca.t type with this music so call me maybe! Hard told look right at you...dj says there's a bb game on.  I prefer the music's.
Show me how to love the unloveable, do the impossible. Reach the unreachable.
Ooh ooh. School bell rang. Cars revving. Gotta go! Gotta pick up 4 kids today. Get pizza. Crazy weekend ahead!  Adios amigos! Hasta la vista baby!!!