a time for mourning

In times like these,
my sadness tank gets larger and larger
every day.
Expanding,
more and more,
to unlimited capacity
Who knew
a heart could feel this much pain
and still go on beating
why am i still here, Lord?
shouldn't i have checked this box already?

Some words of comfort from Ecclesiastes 3:

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

On the up-side...

(there's always a silver lining...)

Mourning is a good thing.  Grief is good.

It makes one realize

that a.) you are still alive  

b.) that you are still a real human being with a soul that can grieve, that can feel love.  Not an inhumane, robotic piece of machinery, but someone with capacity for deep feeling for others, which can motivate one to do great things for others.  The greater the pain, the stronger one's love can become, if channeled correctly.

and c.) Once the season of sadness is over, or at least mostly over, that huge inflated tank of sadness, now almost empty again, can now be recycled...or shall we say re-used/ re-purposed...for something wonderful.  It has been battered and stretched and strengthened by that heavy weight of sadness, and can now be filled to that unlimited capacity, overflowing, splashing over the top, with joy, peace and love.  

"Weeping may endure for the night, 

but JOY comes in the morning."  

              

                    Psalm 30:5