sorry guys, this is it. i'm unplugging this blog, going private, sinking the sub.
have a feeling that there are people i know who are reading this blog and making my life even more miserable, so i'm shutting it down. already created a new blog where i can rant privately, which is more appropriate, anyway. so if you know me in real life, you will no longer be hearing my real thoughts anymore. what you see is what you get. for those who care, thanks for listening.
ping!
Sunday, July 6, 2014
Saturday, July 5, 2014
a novel idea
I've been thinking lately, of how the way we come to a saving, personal relationship with Jesus Christ is sort of like how we are uniquely created to give and receive love, as is described in the popular "Love Language" book series by Dr. Gary Chapman. These 5 love languages are: gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service and physical touch. Ok, so getting someone saved by hugging them may seem weird, but stay with me here, I know it's a vague analogy...but wait, there's more!
What I'm trying to say is, one person may be led to saying a prayer to accept Jesus in their heart through hearing a sermon and responding to an altar call, (and many do) while others may be led to Christ through a one-on-one interaction with someone, someone who builds a relationship with the person through one of the love languages, such as spending time with them, listening to their own personal story, encouraging them and lovingly explaining how we need Jesus. And then there's still others who receive Christ on a far more private level, those that receive God's word through simply reading the Bible, and also through the writings of Christian authors who pour out their hearts, sharing the Gospel creatively through a literary form that truly speaks to the reader's heart, while they are in a quiet mode of reflection and introspection. It could be fiction or nonfiction.
This is what happened to me when I was thirteen years old. I was led to pray for Jesus to enter my heart through the reading of this fictional, very old-fashioned book, even then, entitled Joy Sparton of Parsonage Hill by Ruth I. Johnson.
Here's the jist of it.. Joy Sparton and her twin brother are PK's. (preacher's kids, the first time I heard that acronym) They go to a formal, rather stuffy church (weren't they all like that in those days?) and even though they'd sat through oodles of sermons by their dad, the pastor, they had never themselves said the "sinner's prayer" to become "born again" before. (quotes used because I know that while a lot of us church-goers are quite familiar with them, some casual blog-readers might not be, and that's fine, so just know it's just us church folk's lingo.)
Anyway, so these 2 kids have a hoot of a time making fun of other people in church instead of being serious and listening to the message. For example, this one old dude has a perfectly round, shiny bald head and he always takes a nap during the sermon. Well, one morning a fly lands on his head, which awakens the old man and SLAP!! he slaps at that ol' fly on his head, leaving a red "hand" impression on his bald head and sending these 2 siblings into an uncontrollable gale of giggles! (I'd be rolling on the floor under the pew, too!) There are plenty of other hilarious characters in this church, too, and even though it's funny, it also shows how the message of the Gospel is not being heard by these two youngens.
Then the kids go to summer camp. Bible camp, that is. At first they continue to find ways to goof off and be the bad PK's, just to maintain their naughty image, but then an event occurs that changes them. Joy first. She and a girlfriend sneak out of their after-lunch "nap" time and go to the pool, which is locked and unsupervised. Despite the danger of no lifeguard around, they decide to test their not-so-strong swimming skills, a mishap occurs, and get themselves in serious trouble. Joy ends up almost drowning, blacking out and waking up with a kind camp counselor, to whom she confides that she was so afraid of dying and not going to heaven. So the counselor then explains the Gospel message to her, breaking it down into the ABC's of A: admit you're a sinner, B: believe that Jesus died for your sins and C: confess your sins and ask Jesus into your heart. She also uses the analogy, "just because you live in a garage doesn't make you a car" to show how it doesn't matter that Joy and her brother are preacher's kids and go to church every Sunday, they still need to personally pray to receive Jesus in their hearts.
This book really touched me, and led me to stop, put the book down, and say my own private prayer to ask Jesus into my heart. On my own, in my own little bedroom. No organ music, no people praying over me, no lightning bolts. In fact, as far as I could see, my life continued as normal after that point. But it was the seed that was planted, and God kept watering that seed by allowing new situations in my life, which eventually led to a more conscious decision to re-commit my life to Christ and to take my life down a much different path than the rest of my family and friends.
There were several reasons why this particular book reached me the way it did, where other methods of evangelism might not have. This book uncovered the habit of many of us churched kids, of being naughty in church and not taking the message seriously. It also really brought it home to me when it made the conversion experience happen while she was at summer camp. ah, yes, summer Bible camp. That's where it got me, as I had already had my own first experience of a week at the Bible camp sponsored by my church. There's just something different about it, the way these spiritual truths came alive so much more than in the stuffy, stiff environment of our structured church service. I'll never forget those times, it was a magical thing, almost, how we bonded so quickly with the other kids, made such close friends that it was a big blubbering sob-fest the last day when it was time to go home and leave these wonderful people. And then there were the campfire devotions every night, sitting on log benches, in the woods, under the stars, singing praise & worship songs around the blazing campfire while slapping at mosquitos and watching the shifting logs and burning embers in the firepit. It was that part of it, the singing along with the guitar-led worship, that motivated me to save up for my own guitar, teach myself how to play, and soon after became one of those "cool" counselors who sat on the front bench next to the fire, playing all our favorite songs. (of course the part that was NOT so cool was how dang HOT the guitar would get while sitting up so close to the inferno, and then there was that fear of putting my guitar back into its case when finished, in the dark, and grabbing a spider that had quickly crawled into the dark recesses of the case. eeeek!! yes, that has happened!!!)
Most importantly, this story reached me because, even though it was fiction, it was like a living testimony played out before me, someone else's story of how they encountered Jesus in a real, personal way. Not a book written directly at the reader, in the first person voice, pointing fingers and shouting "YOU need Jesus! Repent! Now!" But instead it's a gentle nudge from the author, a subtle "here's how it happened with the character in this book, and you can have it too!" I love reading real-life stories about other people, and reading is the key word, where i can sit quietly and absorb it on my own time and make my decision when i'm ready. I can imagine the author saying quiet prayers for her reader, as well.
So what is my novel idea? why, to write a novel, of course. Or a kids' book. but not just any book, but to concoct a story of a life intersected by the love of Jesus and how it changed a person's heart and their entire life, no matter how messed up they were before. A very real, down-to-earth kind of story, maybe about a young kid coming to know the Lord through interesting circumstances, or even, ha ha, even a story about an adult, modeled after my own crazy experiences!! orrrrr maybe not. might be a bit too shocking for the average church library or the inspirational fiction section at the library. (Of course the names would be changed to protect the innocent.) i do enjoy reading some Christian fiction, but some of it, sorrynotsorry, is just not "real" enough for me. The kind that i could relate to would have characters that aren't quite as clean-cut and smooth as the typical Christian romance (gag me!!) would have them described. My characters might be a little more awkward, they might swear or even have bad thoughts now and then. But they'd be real, and the gospel message would be clear. Pages might sting with the reality of an average sinner's life, yet be lightly sweetened with the heart of an evangelist.
That's my goal, for one day. someday. Easier said than done. writing, i mean good writing, is hard work. the planning, the revising, the completion of a story when i run out of ideas, the proofreading. and it's lonely work. But it would be my way to give back...to those who planted seeds in my own life...and to the Lord. Reminds me of the camp song we used to sing and i learned to play on my guitar, called Freely:
Freely, freely you have received
Freely, freely give.
Go in my name and because you believe
Others will know that I live.
God forgave my sins in Jesus' name
I've been born again in Jesus' name
And in Jesus' name i come to you
to share His love as He told me to.
He...said...
Freely, freely....
so...we'll see.
What I'm trying to say is, one person may be led to saying a prayer to accept Jesus in their heart through hearing a sermon and responding to an altar call, (and many do) while others may be led to Christ through a one-on-one interaction with someone, someone who builds a relationship with the person through one of the love languages, such as spending time with them, listening to their own personal story, encouraging them and lovingly explaining how we need Jesus. And then there's still others who receive Christ on a far more private level, those that receive God's word through simply reading the Bible, and also through the writings of Christian authors who pour out their hearts, sharing the Gospel creatively through a literary form that truly speaks to the reader's heart, while they are in a quiet mode of reflection and introspection. It could be fiction or nonfiction.
This is what happened to me when I was thirteen years old. I was led to pray for Jesus to enter my heart through the reading of this fictional, very old-fashioned book, even then, entitled Joy Sparton of Parsonage Hill by Ruth I. Johnson.
Here's the jist of it.. Joy Sparton and her twin brother are PK's. (preacher's kids, the first time I heard that acronym) They go to a formal, rather stuffy church (weren't they all like that in those days?) and even though they'd sat through oodles of sermons by their dad, the pastor, they had never themselves said the "sinner's prayer" to become "born again" before. (quotes used because I know that while a lot of us church-goers are quite familiar with them, some casual blog-readers might not be, and that's fine, so just know it's just us church folk's lingo.)
Anyway, so these 2 kids have a hoot of a time making fun of other people in church instead of being serious and listening to the message. For example, this one old dude has a perfectly round, shiny bald head and he always takes a nap during the sermon. Well, one morning a fly lands on his head, which awakens the old man and SLAP!! he slaps at that ol' fly on his head, leaving a red "hand" impression on his bald head and sending these 2 siblings into an uncontrollable gale of giggles! (I'd be rolling on the floor under the pew, too!) There are plenty of other hilarious characters in this church, too, and even though it's funny, it also shows how the message of the Gospel is not being heard by these two youngens.
Then the kids go to summer camp. Bible camp, that is. At first they continue to find ways to goof off and be the bad PK's, just to maintain their naughty image, but then an event occurs that changes them. Joy first. She and a girlfriend sneak out of their after-lunch "nap" time and go to the pool, which is locked and unsupervised. Despite the danger of no lifeguard around, they decide to test their not-so-strong swimming skills, a mishap occurs, and get themselves in serious trouble. Joy ends up almost drowning, blacking out and waking up with a kind camp counselor, to whom she confides that she was so afraid of dying and not going to heaven. So the counselor then explains the Gospel message to her, breaking it down into the ABC's of A: admit you're a sinner, B: believe that Jesus died for your sins and C: confess your sins and ask Jesus into your heart. She also uses the analogy, "just because you live in a garage doesn't make you a car" to show how it doesn't matter that Joy and her brother are preacher's kids and go to church every Sunday, they still need to personally pray to receive Jesus in their hearts.
This book really touched me, and led me to stop, put the book down, and say my own private prayer to ask Jesus into my heart. On my own, in my own little bedroom. No organ music, no people praying over me, no lightning bolts. In fact, as far as I could see, my life continued as normal after that point. But it was the seed that was planted, and God kept watering that seed by allowing new situations in my life, which eventually led to a more conscious decision to re-commit my life to Christ and to take my life down a much different path than the rest of my family and friends.
There were several reasons why this particular book reached me the way it did, where other methods of evangelism might not have. This book uncovered the habit of many of us churched kids, of being naughty in church and not taking the message seriously. It also really brought it home to me when it made the conversion experience happen while she was at summer camp. ah, yes, summer Bible camp. That's where it got me, as I had already had my own first experience of a week at the Bible camp sponsored by my church. There's just something different about it, the way these spiritual truths came alive so much more than in the stuffy, stiff environment of our structured church service. I'll never forget those times, it was a magical thing, almost, how we bonded so quickly with the other kids, made such close friends that it was a big blubbering sob-fest the last day when it was time to go home and leave these wonderful people. And then there were the campfire devotions every night, sitting on log benches, in the woods, under the stars, singing praise & worship songs around the blazing campfire while slapping at mosquitos and watching the shifting logs and burning embers in the firepit. It was that part of it, the singing along with the guitar-led worship, that motivated me to save up for my own guitar, teach myself how to play, and soon after became one of those "cool" counselors who sat on the front bench next to the fire, playing all our favorite songs. (of course the part that was NOT so cool was how dang HOT the guitar would get while sitting up so close to the inferno, and then there was that fear of putting my guitar back into its case when finished, in the dark, and grabbing a spider that had quickly crawled into the dark recesses of the case. eeeek!! yes, that has happened!!!)
Most importantly, this story reached me because, even though it was fiction, it was like a living testimony played out before me, someone else's story of how they encountered Jesus in a real, personal way. Not a book written directly at the reader, in the first person voice, pointing fingers and shouting "YOU need Jesus! Repent! Now!" But instead it's a gentle nudge from the author, a subtle "here's how it happened with the character in this book, and you can have it too!" I love reading real-life stories about other people, and reading is the key word, where i can sit quietly and absorb it on my own time and make my decision when i'm ready. I can imagine the author saying quiet prayers for her reader, as well.
So what is my novel idea? why, to write a novel, of course. Or a kids' book. but not just any book, but to concoct a story of a life intersected by the love of Jesus and how it changed a person's heart and their entire life, no matter how messed up they were before. A very real, down-to-earth kind of story, maybe about a young kid coming to know the Lord through interesting circumstances, or even, ha ha, even a story about an adult, modeled after my own crazy experiences!! orrrrr maybe not. might be a bit too shocking for the average church library or the inspirational fiction section at the library. (Of course the names would be changed to protect the innocent.) i do enjoy reading some Christian fiction, but some of it, sorrynotsorry, is just not "real" enough for me. The kind that i could relate to would have characters that aren't quite as clean-cut and smooth as the typical Christian romance (gag me!!) would have them described. My characters might be a little more awkward, they might swear or even have bad thoughts now and then. But they'd be real, and the gospel message would be clear. Pages might sting with the reality of an average sinner's life, yet be lightly sweetened with the heart of an evangelist.
That's my goal, for one day. someday. Easier said than done. writing, i mean good writing, is hard work. the planning, the revising, the completion of a story when i run out of ideas, the proofreading. and it's lonely work. But it would be my way to give back...to those who planted seeds in my own life...and to the Lord. Reminds me of the camp song we used to sing and i learned to play on my guitar, called Freely:
Freely, freely you have received
Freely, freely give.
Go in my name and because you believe
Others will know that I live.
God forgave my sins in Jesus' name
I've been born again in Jesus' name
And in Jesus' name i come to you
to share His love as He told me to.
He...said...
Freely, freely....
so...we'll see.
casting my net
So while on my run this morning, i had these thoughts...
i know it sounds terribly boringly unspontaneously grown-up and dull and non-dramatic
but...
i am thinking far ahead...thinking about casting my nets out beyond the shallow waters..
...and thinking about where i want to be
in ten years from now.
ok maybe eleven.
i can almost feel it now..the sights...the sounds...the smells...
i know things could change a little before then,
a few tweaks here & there,
God's intervention, slight changes of plans...
but i have to keep my eyes out there..
on the horizon of my dreams
i'm at a point now
where i realize
that even though i may have gotten off-track in some ways
and even those choices have been amazingly partially redeemed...
some things haven't changed.
some dreams in my heart,
dreams that just won't happen by sitting passively.
nope. been there done that.
so i'm thinking long-term
rolling up my sleeves
taking care of stuff
boring financial details,
legalities, crunching numbers...
preparing to do what i gotta do
choosing to live my life today
so that my future in-ten-years-from-now self
will thank me later.
small, serious choices and steps
that will be caring for others,
those precious brothers and sisters in my life,
choices that will benefit everyone involved
in the long run..
by encouraging and influencing them to trust God for themselves
to choose to put their own dreams before Him
so He can direct their steps.
For if we as parents don't live out our own passions,
our children will not have role models
to show them how to live impassioned lives,
and they will think all there is to life
is video games and waiting for life to pass them by.
And again for myself,
steps that will allow me
to use the talents and gifts I've been given
that will lead to more exciting and heartfelt choices and benefits later on.
Life is cyclical, not linear, i've learned...
it loops around
and i'm coming back to my former dreams & desires,
some unfinished business
So casting my net out upon the deeper waters
and trusting God for my catch.
Thursday, July 3, 2014
flames
Going to church, like, for a long time, without ever giving your heart to Jesus, would be like being married without ever having fallen in love. It would be just going through the motions...showing up, volunteering in the nursery, smiling for the church directory photos, enjoying the fellowship, the music, the donuts, the activities, the positive messages....but without any real connection. No real joy without personally knowing Jesus, having Him in your heart of hearts. Even if the initial high of falling in love with Jesus has passed, the person who once made that decision, prayed that prayer, still has the Holy Spirit living inside, so that nobody what happens, how much grief they bear, how far they stray, they always know that Jesus is near. That connection is still there. You don't marry someone just to go through the motions, gain the social status, financial position, or pleasant companionship. If there isn't a true emotional connection, a bonding that started with a mutual spark, a blazing fire that drew them together without thought of any of those other convenient fringe benefits, a fire "just because"...without that, it's like going to church makes you a Christian as much as living in a barn makes you a cow. Of course, I reiterate, that blazing fire may smolder down into a barely burning ember in time...but like the Holy Spirit, it should still be there, just waiting to be fanned into flame again. But if one goes to church without ever accepting Christ into their heart, there is no spark to return to. no first love. One must make the step, a simple one, no drama, hailstorms, fireworks or snakes involved, just a simple prayer. And God takes care of the rest. Let your heart make the right choice. Choose Jesus. And live honestly from the flame of your heart.
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
good grief
feeling a good kind of grief tonight. not the charlie brown kind of "good grief"...
but the kind of sadness that floats around you, almost comforting you, as you know that God is close to the brokenhearted, to those crushed in spirit. knowing His presence is near is comfort enough. i can walk down the path of sadness, kicking at the dead leaves of old regrets and mistakes...but i keep on walking. He is with me. no idea of where the path is leading and that's ok. just enjoying the quiet, the aloneness. the fellowship with God alone. not to isolate myself in an unhealthy way, but to honor this alone time with the Lord. carefully, very selectively allowing a few trusted souls to see the eyes of my heart, or maybe just a glimpse. this tender seedling of hope can be easily crushed, so i keep it hidden. safe. perhaps someday i will share my story. if not, it's ok. God knows and understands. if i can just hold onto this good kind of grief, i'll be ok. it's ok.
but the kind of sadness that floats around you, almost comforting you, as you know that God is close to the brokenhearted, to those crushed in spirit. knowing His presence is near is comfort enough. i can walk down the path of sadness, kicking at the dead leaves of old regrets and mistakes...but i keep on walking. He is with me. no idea of where the path is leading and that's ok. just enjoying the quiet, the aloneness. the fellowship with God alone. not to isolate myself in an unhealthy way, but to honor this alone time with the Lord. carefully, very selectively allowing a few trusted souls to see the eyes of my heart, or maybe just a glimpse. this tender seedling of hope can be easily crushed, so i keep it hidden. safe. perhaps someday i will share my story. if not, it's ok. God knows and understands. if i can just hold onto this good kind of grief, i'll be ok. it's ok.
Sunday, June 29, 2014
inspired
so what's the point of living
if for the majority of time
the centuries
we are either dead or unborn
we are only a speck
and then we're dead.
might as well
let the dead games begin.
if for the majority of time
the centuries
we are either dead or unborn
we are only a speck
and then we're dead.
might as well
let the dead games begin.
Saturday, June 28, 2014
BC 60 Preview
Howdy!
Since I missed going to my Body Combat class Thursday, I'll make up for it by copy-pasting the following from another blog I follow; here's the url:
:http://grandnat.co.uk/first-impressions-of-les-mills-body-combat-release-60/
Since we will soon be learning the BC 60 release ourselves in class, I thought I'd give a sneak peek from this instructor.
First Impressions of Les Mills Body Combat release 60 after Edinburgh Quarterly
Can release 60 – which celebrates 15 years of Body Combat – match up to the last one?
Our presenter for the Edinburgh Quarterly, the mighty Dave Cross, delivered a motivational masterclass. You know that Dave puts extra work into his delivery because he doesn’t just present a “live” version of the instructor DVD. It’s refreshing. You always come away from Dave’s quarterlies with new ideas.
As he unveiled Body Combat release 60 it became clear that it’s very similar to the last one. More “switch lunges” in the Capoeira track for example. However, I’m not sure the power tracks are as full on shoulder blasters but they come close.
Here’s what I remember:
- Hip rolls and endless roundhouse kicks in a lower body warm up set to a version ofKaty Perry’s Roar.
- A decent cover of Michael Jackson’s Black and White provides an intense first combat track.
- In track 3 we see a return of a song last seen in release 29 - Fly Away. Prepare for an onslaught of never-ending hooks.
- A new move in t he Muay Tai called, “The Superman Punch”, challenges your co-ordination. This might take some getting use to. The rest of the MT track could reduce you to a breathless sweaty heap.
- Dan says that the Abs track is the hardest they’ve ever done. Not sure that’s true but it does hurt.
- Last seen in release 20 – we cooldown to Now We Are Free – that moody song from Gladiator.
So first impressions suggest an equally tough work out carrying on the tradition set by the previous quarter. Lacks originality though and feels a little samey but will undoubtedly get results.
Let the learning begin.
Now it’s your turn:
Are you a Body Combat instructor? What do you think of Les Mills Body Combat release 60? Please leave a comment or a link to your own thoughts.
me again. hope you enjoyed that small preview. I'm looking forward to learning that Superman Punch in the Muay Thai track! I'll be back with my own review of BC release 60 sometime in the future, complete with snarky comments on fellow participants & the instructor, too! stay tuned!
p.s. I'm also thinking about setting up a separate blog just for these fitness-related posts...will be thinking some more about that and will let you know! Only problem is, anything relating to music and movement, especially when done together, also inspires powerful emotions and deep thoughts that cross-over into the deeper, more thoughtful rants i get myself into. oh well. such is life, se la vie.
;-D
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
psyching up
but i won't.
i am getting up, getting ready to go to this class.
just wait, mr. robb, i'm on my way..
(i know he's gonna wup my butt)
i can do this...pain is gain...
later alligator!
11:59 am. Squeal into the gym parking lot, one minute to spare. (why i always always allow only the least amount of time to get someplace that i possibly can, assuming i can drive 70 mph the whole way with no red lights, is beyond me,...) The entrance is in the back, so i almost have a head-on collision with another car just leaving. Looking for a place to park. Spot a personalized plated, gay-pride-stickered, silver Mercedes coupe. yup, Robb's here. A couple cars down, I find a space, next to another car with that same gay pride sticker. hmmm, now i'll be scoping around class, thinking, "which one of you is...?"
A tad late, but in time for the upper-body, boxing warm-up. 560 punches in just 5 minutes, including 3 short breaks, Robb informs us. That's nothing compared to the final boxing track of 700-something punches, mostly hard consecutive hooks, all on one side, nonstop. but that's later on..
I slip in behind mr. guido-man, and i apologize if that's sounds racist, but actually wikepedia says it's no longer a demeaning term, just a word for a working-class Italian-American who "conducts himself in an overtly macho manner". like this dude. He's shorter than me, so i have no problem seeing the instructor over his fuzzy little head. rather squat & overly-muscle bound, too. Reminds me of the gorilla in the Donkey Kong game, but i try not to think about that or i crack up and can't concentrate.
and i need to concentrate here!
We do our 700-whatever punch super boxing track, "emptying our tanks" as he commands us to, and then we do our light jog around the room, high-fiving him on the way as we grab our mats and get ready to finish off with sit-ups and push-ups. Good stuff, but I really miss the hip escape push-ups we used to do. I think people complained too much, they were too "challenging" for some. What??? those things were awesome, and made you feel like such a sneaky ninja! oh well. one day, if i am ever a body combat instructor myself, i will throw in lots and lots of hip escape push-ups.
As i start up my car in the parking lot, the owner of the gay pride sticker car beside me also arrives to leave. and sure enough, just as i expected, it belongs to this particular person that i suspected was "checking me out" in class a few times. and it isn't a "he". i'm so good at picking these people out, if i do say so myself... ;-D
Such a good work-out, i rationalized that i desserved a little retail therapy afterwards, so i take a detour before going home..
..and since i was still feeling a bit of residue from my yesterday's sadness, this therapy was well taken. i mean, ask any girl, and you will not find one who is not at least a little bit cheered up by the purchase of a new purse, and new shoes.
ahhh, that's better.
till next time!
(p.s. new release of the next Body Combat set coming soon!!)
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