good grief

feeling a good kind of grief tonight. not the charlie brown kind of "good grief"...
but the kind of sadness that floats around you, almost comforting you, as you know that God is close to the brokenhearted, to those crushed in spirit.  knowing His presence is near is comfort enough.  i can walk down the path of sadness, kicking at the dead leaves of old regrets and mistakes...but i keep on walking. He is with me.  no idea of where the path is leading and that's ok.  just enjoying the quiet, the aloneness.  the fellowship with God alone.  not to isolate myself in an unhealthy way, but to honor this alone time with the Lord.  carefully, very selectively allowing a few trusted souls to see the eyes of my heart, or maybe just a glimpse.  this tender seedling of hope can be easily crushed, so i keep it hidden. safe.  perhaps someday i will share my story. if not, it's ok. God knows and understands.  if i can just hold onto this good kind of grief, i'll be ok. it's ok.