roar

sometimes i'm tempted to just be quiet. shut my mouth, stop blogging. give it up.  keep the peace.  after all, sometimes the thoughts and opinions i've been having lately are pretty strong, and what if somebody doesn't agree with me, or thinks i'm wrong? accuses me of things that may be true but it still hurts.  i can't have that happen, right? avoid conflict at all costs.  my motto for life.  right?  or maybe that needs to change.  not that i'm always right.  if i am wrong, and i will be many, many times, what's so bad about falling on my face a few times and being seen as a fool?  ok that's where it gets uncomfortable.  what if people don't believe that what i say is really my truth?  what if people get mad at me?  oh dear, that's even more uncomfortable.  ok, let's look at it the other way.  what if i do NOT say anything? what if i keep my thoughts inside my head.  does that mean i'm not still thinking them? of course not. only then i'm building up the pressure inside me,  while falsely smiling politely  when really i want to scream that i don't agree with them.  reminds me of katy perry's song,                                      "Roar"

I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath
Scared to rock the boat and make a mess
So I sat quietly, agreed politely
I guess that I forgot I had a choice
I let you push me past the breaking point
I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything

You held me down, but I got up (HEY!)
Already brushing off the dust
You hear my voice, you hear that sound
Like thunder gonna shake the ground
You held me down, but I got up (HEY!)
Get ready 'cause I’ve had enough
I see it all, I see it now

[Chorus]
I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire
'Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar
Louder, louder than a lion
'Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You’re gonna hear me roar

Now I’m floating like a butterfly
Stinging like a bee I earned my stripes
I went from zero, to my own hero

You held me down, but I got up (HEY!)
Already brushing off the dust
You hear my voice, you hear that sound
Like thunder gonna shake the ground
You held me down, but I got up (HEY!)
Get ready ’cause I’ve had enough
I see it all, I see it now

[Chorus}

now i'm not really a huge katy perry fan, but she does have talent and i like some of her very open and honest lyrics.  It's sad that she grew up in a Christian home but felt so stifled and held down by her parents, that she felt she had to break free and go the completely opposite direction.  Regardless of her current behaviors, i like this song because it paints such a picture of myself, always keeping my mouth shut, agreeing politely. Too afraid of someone stronger, more important or popular than me interrupting me or saying something more important or popular than what i have to say, so i just keep my mouth shut. 
oh no, i've said too much, 
i've said enough...