after the storm

  Vulnerability Hangover. 

  Wow.  

  I cannot talk about the context in which I heard that term

  tonight

  but it just won't leave my head,

  is searing itself across my brain like a 

  tattoo.

  Definition:  (vulnerability hangover)

  the sense of fear that we've exposed too much, 

  perhaps to a person we cannot really trust.

  a universal experience.

  really??? you mean it's not just me???

  Description: We feel the urge to connect with someone so we share something deeply meaningful.  Minutes, hours or days later, we begin to feel regret sweep over us like a warm wave of nausea.

  Wow.

  Perfect description of

   my worst nightmare

  the thing I strive to avoid most

  that feeling of being stripped 

  of all my defenses

  laid bare for all to see my imperfections.

  This opens up a myriad of exploding thoughts,

  too much to put into words,

  in fact, this would be a good jumping off point

  for some work of art...

  a better way to express how this feels...

  to draw a picture,

  wildly splash paint across a wall or canvas

  in bright reds, purples, 

  calm blues or even black.

  to bang out some chords, 

  add some wailing,

 choreograph a dance,

  spastic at times,

  then flowing, methodical,

  as God calms the storm

  and puts the broken pieces back together

  into a new tapestry, a new vessel, a new song.

  Words can be so unnecessary.

  If only words can be used to connect people,

  then what's the point?

  Even the thunder and lightning understand.