A & B

Recently I realized that there are 2 types of people in my little world:

A- those people who intimidate me to some degree, and

B- those who do not.

The "A" types, (not necessarily "type A" personalities, but typically they often are that way...) always create an uneasy response in me. At one extreme, when these type A's are being especially confrontational, adamant, forceful, unbending...I become like a deer in the headlights: paralyzed with fear, my mind goes blank, I stumble, I panic, I do whatever they want, I freeze, my brain shuts down, I become a robot without any personality or rational thought processes. When these type A people are acting friendly but still very type A-ish and a bit patronizing, I may still find myself giving in to their self-created authority on things, and I act stupid, or ask dumb questions that I could easily figure out myself if I wasn't feeling so "dumbed-down" by the intimidating presence of this type A person.

Type B's, on the other hand, are the people whom I can relax with, those who I can let my guard down with, those whose presence is calming, gives me a sense of "ahhhh". Those people are the ones I can act silly in front of, and yet still think and accomplish tasks with confidence and creativity.

Over time, the type A's may not make me feel AS intimidating to me, but they will never become part of the B group. Their nature remains the same.

My goal: to learn to relax around these types of people, to speak words of truth and encouragement to myself in their presence, and to kindly assert myself and speak the truth to these people, to say what I need to say, do the things I need to do. No more fear.

just some observations.

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