traffic cops & weinerschnitzel

Recently I was asked to answer a few questions about the word "power". yes, power. ok. Like....what is your definition of power? who have you known who was/is powerful? what power have you lost or given up over the years? what can you have power over now? what steps will you take to get it and keep it?

My first reaction was to ask the asker to rephrase that question, isn't "power" a word reserved for talk about God, or superheroes, or powerful world leaders, political figures? Maybe just "control" would be better...
But ok. I'll roll with it. My definition of power: the ability to make change occur, to have a strong influence over others.
Jump down a few questions... these days, I exert power over my body by working out frequently in order to increase my physical strength and overall health benefits. I can control that area of my life, so it helps me feel more powerful. in all areas.
Same with writing. Expressing myself through the written word is a huge source of power for me. Using my voice. Learning to sort out the life inside of me by putting it down on paper or the screen. power.
And power in relationships...

well, let's just say that on a one-way street, I like to be the traffic cop; NO ONE gets past me unless I say so.
Realizing my potential for personal power, as it's coming to light during this journey, thanks to this kind of thinking and articulating it into words I can spit out and look at, is helping me differentiate between being assertive and being aggressive. At first, feeling aggressive was a reaction to frustration and pent-up emotion. Where it can't be let it out, it can become passive-aggression, acting out in secret but deviant ways. (you know, like unscrewing the salt shaker a bit so the next person dumps a whole load of salt on their food while you sit there pretending to be innocent!) But being assertive means knowing my truth, using my voice calmly but firmly, stating my preferences. I may like this, but not that. This warms my heart, but that, quite frankly, no offense, but it just...does...not. Never has.
It's like weinerschnitzel. Suppose a German friend wants to treat you to dinner at a German restaurant. You're not crazy about weinerschnitzel and saurkraut, but you go and eat, just to be nice, and when prepared just right, the dish may not be all that bad, even slightly tasty, in a quirky way. But definitely not something you want to eat every day. or even more than once a year. So the next time your German friend asks to go there again, you politely but firmly say NO, you'd rather not. that simple.

And while we're speaking of power over words, I couldn't help but bring up some of my favorite lyrics from a favorite song again, as I put it to music on my first try at a GarageBand app music recording. (yeah, that's me & my guitar in the background, behind all the echo-y effects and layers of percussion..) I'm just learning to play with this very cool app, so this is very amateur; I'll be working on these some more in the future.. so here's the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DjNp5kuvJg
(hope that link works for ya..it's a very short snippet, and in case you can't hear what i'm saying..


"2 am and I'm still awake writing this song, if I get it all down on paper it's no longer
Inside of me, threatnin' the life it belongs to..."


love it. love words. don't love weinerschnitzel.
Guten nacht!!!

Posted with Blogsy