I awake from a dream to find myself on a bumpy ride, jostling about in the back of an old horse-pulled wagon. All is black. My eyes are blindfolded, yet I feel the blackness of the night, smell the dew on the fresh spring grass. The almost-sweet, pungent smell of cow manure tells me I'm no longer in the city. The weathered, wooden bench beneath me is rickety and splinters rub up against me. "Wh-where am I? what's going on?" I mumble in a panic as I rouse from my sleep. I peek underneath a corner of the blindfold to see a dark, hunchback, hooded figure at the front of the wagon, hunched over and holding the reigns of two black horses, their sleek fur glistening in the moonlight. "never mind", the voice from the figure growls in a raspy voice. "And put that back on your eyes!" he commands screechily. I do as I'm told, still too shocked to feel any sensation of fear at the moment, wondering what the heck is going on.
The wagon suddenly jolts backward as we begin to climb a steep, winding hill. My head jerks back and I'm thrashed to the right and the left, clutching the bench beneath me with white knuckles, for fear of falling off this crazy midnight wagon train. Finally we level out and the horses and the wagon come to a stop. I smell a faint smell of formaldehyde and burnt electrical wires coming from somewhere. A shuffling sound and an awkward, thumping gait of limping footsteps comes closer. My blindfold is torn off, and I'm looking into the eerie, grey, disfigured face of...could it be....IGOR...from the Young Frankenstein movie!
What proceeds next in this upcoming sci-fi flick that has suddenly sprung to life in my weird imagination is this... Igor and Dr. Frederick Frankenstein have taken on a new kind of scientific experimentation: Now they go out in the middle of the night, capture souls who need a heart transplant. No, not the physical kind with blood and veins and aortas and stuff, but the emotional/spiritual ones.
This is for patients whose lives have come to a crossroads, where what they want to do they cannot do, for it would be wrong and it would hurt other people, but to stay in the same place would make their heart die a slow and very uncomfortable death, while on the outside they keep up the mask, pretending everything's fine.
Now these eyes of the heart, they're actually physically encased in the person's eyes, so the operation involves popping out the eyeballs, plopping them into a jar of chemicals, labeling the jar and storing them on a shelf, lined up next to the floating eyeballs of hundreds of other souls out there, also living with robot heart-eyes. Perhaps in the movie these eyeballs will roll around and gape at each other through the glass jars. Share their stories with other eyeballs. (let's just hope that Igor doesn't wake up hungry one night and mistake us for jars of olives!!!)
In their place, in these bulging, dripping eye sockets are inserted a new robotic type of eyeballs., identical to the previous ones but with a more robotic "heart" inside of them, programmed to live the rest of this person's life, as if nothing had changed. But now the person, without their real heart, is able to respond to others and to situations and messes they have gotten themselves into with an amazing sense of good character that thrills everyone and brings them great praise and approval. Their lives are therefore now a success.
Then, when a certain amount of time has passed, when the danger of hurting others with the true heart has gone by, the person is plucked back out in the middle of the night, brought back by Igor and his horses to the haunted mansion of Dr. Frankenstein, and the True Eyes of the Heart are dug out of their old jar and placed back into the patient. Patient now is free to return to their life and live an authentic life from their real heart. Adjusting to the not-so-perfect quirks of their old heart may take some time and adjustment from others in their lives, but it is still a good life, a much more peaceful one than had they not been zapped out and had their "eyes" replaced for awhile.
And, just for fun, I would somehow work in parts of these following great quotes from the movie, "Young Frankenstein" with Gene Wilder:
here goes:
For what we are about to see next, we must enter quietly into the realm of genius.
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You know, I'm a rather brilliant surgeon. Perhaps I can help you with that hump.
Igor: What hump?
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Dr. F. Frankenstein: This is a nice boy. This is a good boy. This is a mother's angel. And I want the world to know once and for all, and without any shame, that we love him. I'm going to teach you. I'm going to show you how to walk, how to speak, how to move, how to think. Together, you and I are going to make the greatest single contribution to science since the creation of fire.
Inga: [from outside] Dr. Fronkensteen! Are you all right!
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: MY NAME IS FRANKENSTEIN!
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Are you ready?
Igor: Are you sure this is how they did it?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Yes! It's all written down in the notes! Now tie off the kites and hurry down as fast as you can!
Igor: What's the hurry?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: There's a possibility of electrocution! Do you understand?
[no answer, shouts]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: I said, there is a possibility of electrocution! Do you understand?
Igor: [suddenly appears next to Fredrick] I understand. I understand. Why are you shouting?
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LIFE! DO YOU HEAR ME? GIVE MY CREATION... LIFE!
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(And in the ending of my own personal version of this great film i shall one day create...(and yes, i get to play the part of creepy IGOR!!!)... I shall go with my new spirit eyes, the eyes of my heart, once the seedlings have become mature trees and all is at peace with my world...and you shall find me in the wrinkled-but-physically fit old body of a granny yoga instructor on the beaches of Costa Rica...where I will open up my authentic heart and pour all that love into my students, my family, and into whatever orphans God brings my way. And I shall wear purple. )
Just a sketchy version of my new film idea. Screenplay coming soon... (maybe...if i'm not distracted by some other crazy film idea...)
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [singing] If you're blue, and you don't know where to go to, why don't you go where fashion sits...
The Monster: 'UTTIN' ON THE 'IIIIITZ.
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