Jonathan Martin (@renovatuspastor) tweeted:
Since Jesus always scandalized everybody with his own table fellowship, I'm not worried about us serving communion to "the wrong people."
This hit home to me, after this morning's very touching baptism service at a lake. I've seen these so many times, heard pastors explain the difference between baby baptism (like I had) and submersion baptism, and I totally agree and KNOW that I need to do this sometime...and today's outdoor setting and small church environment was so sweet...but still, I just can't muster up the courage to do it. I can't explain all the reasons why, but the above tweet struck a nerve, thoughts about not measuring up, feeling so much shame, unworthiness, condemnation, etc, etc. If it weren't for this dark place I'm in right now, well, maybe... But that's all I can say for now. If I think too much, the dam will break, and I"ll have to go wash my face and put aloe vera all over my sunburned cheeks again. stupid tears. stupid, stupid....
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